u don't know how hard it is to stand in the church,
and hearing that the gods protects you and everything like that..
when i just try to find happyness, when i do find some.. it takes away from me..
and to feel like you are the black sheep in the family, that u can't do nothing right..
nothing right, nothing at all, only makes it worthless.. u got no idea.. ..
and i don't got any style at all, iam not cute, iam fat and .. iam just .. ugly ..
my big bro do that and that, what can i do?.. just sitting in the rain and hearing the thunder.. cuz my life was fucked when i was born... i love this man..
only happyness i got.. but.. god damn.. sitting on the train in 5h everytime i wanna meet him?.. only makes me sad to think about... i love him.. i want him the best..
and, no thats not me.. i wish it was thougth.. but it isint.. and.. no.. my ex were cute and stuff, but .. i mean iam 18?.. and in the mind iam stil a little teenage..
i shouldin't move togheter withsomeone just yet.. and i feel like.. i dont wanna be with someone whos over 40 when iam 25 ?.. .. and.. i reamber.. the very first time.. i met this boy right?.. we didin't know eachother.. but .. i felt some kind of.. happyness when i was with him uk?.. i can't cry when iam thinking about him.. i love him..
and.. no i feel like.. its just worthless... cuz this shit .. i dunno what i can tell you...
iam lost.. rly lost :/